Secrets of Confident People

16 September 2019

IT’S A WONDERFUL FEELING going into a situation thinking; “Whatever happens, I can handle it”. However...

“I need to feel more confident before I try that.”
“If only I could be sure of succeeding, I’d feel so much more confident.”

Are those more familiar thoughts?

It’s easy to believe that confident people somehow ‘know’ how to deal with new situations with such ease, but that isn’t true. How can they know before they even attempt something?

The truth is, they can be just as uncertain as you and I about doing something for the first time, and they can screw up just as well as the rest of us too! The big difference, however, is their attitude.

A confident person accepts that it’s a new experience and mistakes are inevitable, and that if one should happen, they can handle it. They know that providing they give it their best, whatever happens will be alright. That’s what having a confident attitude is all about, and with that positive outlook they put themselves in the very best mental state to master that new situation.

In short, confident people:

  • Have positive yet ‘realistic’ expectations.
  • Have faith in their own abilities.
  • Are comfortable with uncertainty.
  • Know they can handle failure if it happens.
  • Believe they can cope; not necessarily succeed – there’s a difference!
  • Don’t feel they have to conform in order to be accepted.
  • Are willing to risk the disapproval of others because they trust their own judgement.
  • Don’t need the approval of others, hence they can tolerate failure.
  • Can see the funny side of things, even personal mistakes and misfortunes.
  • Don’t take things too seriously or personally.
  • Feel good about themselves.
  • Make others feel good about themselves.
  • Understand the four steps to becoming competent.

Sense of curiosity

A confident person treats each new experience with curiosity and a sense of fun. Curiosity is, after all, the natural human emotion to experience in the absence of all others, and human beings are born explorers.

Watch a young child playing and you’ll soon notice how they approach each new experience with wonder, simply because they haven’t learnt the concept of failure yet. It’s not a chance to fail but an opportunity to learn. It’s only later life that brings with it so many inhibitions and limiting self beliefs.

Wouldn’t it be great to be able to forget the notion of ‘success and failure’ and return to some of that childhood innocence; just enjoying the process of seeing how far you can get?

Don’t be arrogant

Truly confident people are largely unaware of the fact; they just ‘are’. But when a person starts to believe they’re better than their abilities – better than others – that’s when they run the risk of verging into ‘arrogance’ territory.

This ego driven false confidence leads to taking risks that are beyond their ability to handle, and sooner or later they suffer the sort of catastrophic failure that shatters their over inflated confidence.

So you know what confidence really is, and you know how confident people do what they do; now it’s time to learn how to actually make it happen.

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The essence of self confidence is having faith in your own abilities.

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Book Ideas

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway book cover

Feel the Fear
& Do It Anyway
Susan Jeffers

Turn fear and indecision into confidence and action.

An insightful and engaging look at the destructive effects of fear in all aspects of your life, with guidance on how that fear may be overcome.

People often have a desire to change but find themselves held back by fear and self doubt? Unfortunately change often requires facing one’s fears, and that’s when they give up.

Based on the idea that indecisiveness stems from a fear of the unknown, Susan Jeffers advises you to ‘face the fear’ and not be swayed by outside influences. She provides both an understanding of the roots of your fears and actions you can take to better deal with them, be that a fear of public speaking, asserting yourself, making decisions, intimacy, changing jobs, being alone, ending a relationship...  and many other common fears.

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