DO YOU EVER FIND YOURSELF THINKING you’re not good enough? That whatever you do doesn’t really count for anything? Perhaps you always set yourself up for failure by setting impossibly high goals and standards, then class everything that falls short of perfection as a failure. Some people blame themselves for everything that goes wrong – even things that aren’t their fault. These are all characteristics of having low self esteem.
Low self esteem is at the root of so many emotional problems that rob a person of achieving their full potential, holding them back from fulfilling their dreams and ambitions.
Low self esteem effects
- Confidence – Feeling that whatever you do will be wrong or not good enough erodes self confidence, holding you back from attempting new things.
- Anxiety – In a similar vein, low self esteem leads to all sorts of anxiety issues about taking on new challenges when you believe you’re going to fail.
- Assertiveness – Thinking your views are unimportant and unworthy prevents you from speaking up and defending your values. Wants and needs go unmet leaving you feeling bitter and resentful, and thinking life is so unfair. That can result in a belief that you have no right to ask for what you want.
- Anger – Low self esteem and a lack of assertiveness can lead to when those pent up feelings of frustration and unfairness can be contained no longer.
- Self abuse – Feelings of worthlessness can lead to self abusive behaviours when believing that’s what you deserve. And if nobody else is going to treat you badly you do it to yourself – sometimes physically, but often giving yourself a really hard time mentally with constant nagging criticisms and negative self talk.
- Depression – Finally, low self esteem slowly and insidiously undermines everything you do, leaving you feeling worthless and life seeming hopeless. This can easily .
Self esteem is responsible for your self image – the person you ‘know’ you are. You might try to hide that person from the world, but you yourself believe it implicitly. Living your life according to that self image, your behaviour will never deviate very far from it. For example: if you feel unattractive, you tend to behave as if you are unattractive, which in turn produces the responses from others that just reinforce the notion that you are indeed unattractive. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
You get more of what you expect
It’s funny how people tend to get from life exactly what they expect to get from it. And I’m talking about ‘expectations’ here, not ‘hopes’. We all hope for things to happen, but it’s what we actually expect to happen that can really influence our lives.
Have you ever noticed how easy life seems to be for some people? How everything always goes their way. Have you ever wished your life could be like that? I wonder what that might be like...
Well the good news is that it can be like that. It has little to do with luck and good fortune, and more to do with positive self esteem and a positive outlook on life. Remember, you always get more of what you expect in life. And before you can expect favourable outcomes you need to think favourable thoughts about yourself.
Increase your self esteem with self hypnosis
That negative self image, the one that’s determining your behaviour and ultimately what you get from life, is a product of your subconscious mind. It was programmed with those thoughts probably as long ago as childhood, and you’ve long since lost touch with them. But the power of self hypnosis gives you a means to communicate directly with your subconscious, enabling you to change that negative self image into something more positive and more realistic.
You never allow others to treat you worse than how you treat yourself. When you think more highly of yourself, you act accordingly, and more importantly expect accordingly. And when what you expect isn’t being met, so you find the confidence to speak up for what is right... to get more of what you want and deserve from life.
This Building Self Esteem download can make a real positive difference to the way you feel about yourself.
Self esteem tip
It’s important to separate yourself from what you do. If you do something wrong then it’s ok to be critical. However, be critical of what you did or how you behaved, never critical of yourself as a person. You’re still a good person who happened to make a mistake.
A human being, not a human doing
But when you do something well, something to be proud of, that’s the time to address yourself as a person. Praise yourself for a job well done.
By the way, the above should be applied when teaching children the rights and wrongs in life. Criticise the actions when they do wrong, and praise the person when they do well. So often a parent’s well intentioned words are misdirected, and the child gets the sense that they’re at fault. Then they set off down their own pathway to a life of low self esteem.
Another self esteem tip
Learn to accept compliments. Compliments always make you feel good about yourself when you take the trouble to accept them gracefully. But all too often low self esteem makes a person dismiss a compliment as unwarranted and they never get to feel good, even when they do well.
What do you want to do now
Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections.
Change Your Life in
With free CD and DVD.
Having made a worldwide study of highly successful and effective people, Paul McKenna discovered that success and happiness are not accidents that happen to some people and not others; they’re created by specific ways of thinking and acting.
Paul teaches you these techniques, showing you how to master your emotions and run your brain; allowing you to be the person you always dreamed you could be.
As well as a free powerful hypnosis CD, this 2010 edition also contains a free DVD. Paul gives you 7 daily coaching sessions to put you in a peak state of mind.