BEFORE YOU CAN START TO EXPERIENCE the amazing feeling of confidence for yourself, you need to take action and do something. However, do you more often find yourself expecting the worst and avoiding situations?
The trouble with that is that while you’re busy avoiding something, you’re not actually achieving anything! Life goes on and you’re probably paying very little attention to where it is you’re actually going. You could find yourself in a totally different place to where you want to be.
Avoiding and playing it safe might mean you won’t fail, but it also guarantees you won’t succeed! This is a shame because you’re much stronger and more capable than you think.
Avoiding something keeps the mind focused precisely where it doesn't need it to be – on the things you do not want. What you should be focusing on is what you do want. You’ll find that a person always gets more of what they focus their attention on.
There’s another aspect of avoiding the situation that’s detrimental to confidence building too. To build confidence you need to experience progress and success. You need to ‘do something’ because confidence needs to be experienced, and that happens in the follow way:
- You do something new.
- You surprise yourself because it was easier than you thought, and it went well.
- You feel good about yourself.
- Those feel-good feelings inspire you to do something else challenging, just to experience those good feelings again.
Good feelings can be incredibly addictive
So you see, getting the ball rolling requires taking some action. Challenging your comfort zone. Confidence breeds confidence – it attracts it like a magnet – and the rest is like that tiny snowball rolling downhill...
It grows and it grows... and it becomes unstoppable!
But just when things were starting to get going, do you find yourself creating disaster scenarios in your mind? These can be so fleeting that you hardly notice; however, they exert such a strong hold that they prevent you from taking action.
The trick is to become more aware of what exactly it is you’re predicting, and when you do, you nearly always find that these catastrophic outcomes are very unlikely to come true.
So be more realistic. If you did do it, what’s the worst thing that could ‘reasonably’ happen?
- Will the sky fall?
- With the ground open and swallow you up?
- Will people even notice if you don’t get everything quite right?
I suspect the third option is most likely, don’t you?
When facing something new, consider it a ‘challenge’, not a problem. It’s natural to avoid a problem, but it's easier to rise to a challenge.
Do something you love
As well as challenging yourself to try new things, spend a little time doing something you’re already good at because it helps to remind yourself what confidence feels like.
“But I’m not confident at anything!”
I think you are – and in many more areas than you probably realise. It’s just that when you are, you’re largely unaware of it. But for now, take something you love doing. Most people are acceptably good at the things they love simply because they enjoy doing them; hence they spend time doing them and become more proficient.
So choose something you really enjoy and aim to do it everyday. This reminds your subconscious mind how it feels to feel confident. It makes you feel good about yourself and improves your self esteem too, and good self esteem is a vital part of having self confidence.
You see, when you feel good about yourself as a person, it doesn’t matter so much if things don’t always work out. You’re still a good person who just happened to make a mistake, that’s all.
What do you want to do now
To experience confidence you need to experience progress...
so do something!
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