Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow’s a mystery.
Today is a gift...
That’s why they call it ‘The Present’.
Past present and future
DO YOU SPEND TOO MUCH TIME living in the past or the future? You can search high and low but you’ll never find those places anywhere. When you think about it, there’s only one moment in time where you can actually live and make a difference...
Unconfident people spend much of their life in the past, dwelling on things that went wrong or situations that didn’t turn out as intended. They then spend much of the remainder projecting those unsatisfactory outcomes into their future, believing they’re doomed to be repeated. It isn’t very encouraging, is it?
Live life now
Confident people, on the other hand, live most of their lives in the present; in the moment. They see the past as a useful resource filled with cherished memories and lessons learnt, and the future as a land of unwritten possibilities and opportunities. However, they live each moment fully in the present – the only place to actually make a difference – and create their future right here, right now.
Do you remember what it felt like when you were a young child; playing and living your days from moment to moment? It felt good, didn’t it? The question of confidence just evaporates in the present. It’s only when dwelling on the past or worrying about the future that it becomes an issue.
In the flow
Take a moment to imagine how wonderful it feels to be totally focused and engrossed in a favourite hobby or activity; something you really love and are good at...
For me that’s playing the guitar; not that I’m particularly good at it, but I’m OK-ish. It’s something I love and it’s something I can easily become totally absorbed in. The past and the future just melt away, and the only moment that matters is this moment now.
Everything is so effortless...
Everything just flows...
It’s almost like there’s a direct link between the subconscious mind and the activity. I think of sounds and my mind controls my body, which in turn controls the guitar. It just seems to happen all on it’s own; like it’s playing itself.
This is how it feels to feel truly confident; when your perception of the task exactly matches your perception of your ability to achieve it. This is the concept behind the Confidence Formula. All awareness of the self – self-consciousness – evaporates into ‘the doing’ and ‘the being’.
State of trance
This moment of ‘flow’, when you find yourself totally engrossed in something, is a state of trance. It’s similar to day-dreaming, and another similar state of trance is hypnosis. Again, it’s like a direct link between the subconscious mind and the activity, which this time is the suggestion being made. The conscious part of the mind is by-passed because it isn’t needed for this kind of learning.
The power of hypnosis can tap into that wonderfully resourceful and creative mindset that you already do possess at certain times and in certain situations, bringing that effortless ease into other areas of your life that need a little confidence boost.
Anchoring a confident feeling
So the trick is to sit down quietly somewhere and relax... and to think about one of those magical moments right now. A time when you were doing something with such effortless ease, and when everybody else and everything else – and even time itself – seemed to just melt away...
Close your eyes and live that moment again now as if it’s happening all around you, with you playing your part. Make it as real and as vivid as you possibly can.
Use all the senses to make this inspirational memory really come alive even more. See what you saw, hear what you heard, and feel the way you felt. You probably find there’s one sense you use most. For some people visual images play a big part, while for others it can be sounds and words, or feelings, or sometimes even smells.
When you’ve made those thoughts as big and as bright and as real as you possibly can, and using using all your senses, and when you can feel yourself feeling as great and as confident as you possibly can... suddenly make all those thoughts and all those amazing feelings feel twice as big and twice as magnificent, and at the same time squeeze the thumb and middle finger of your left hand together.
Do this several times, each time making everything feel as real as possible, then squeeze that thumb and middle finger together to reinforce the ‘anchor’ you’ve just created.
What you’re effectively doing is creating different pathways to that inspiring memory; firstly by having the thoughts themselves, and secondly by a physical action. Having more paths that lead to a destination makes it easier to always reach it whenever you need to.
Now try it the other way. Recall that memory, and at the same time squeeze the thumb and middle finger of your left hand together. Does it bring back some of those confident feelings and positive attitude?
So this becomes a little resource that you always carry around with you; as long as you always remember to take your thumb and finger along, that is! Whenever you find yourself in need of a confidence boost, simply think about that good memory – a time when you could do something with such effortless ease – squeeze that thumb and middle finger together, and start feeling some of those good empowering feelings once again.
What this does is it takes the confident feelings you already have in one area of your life and transfers them to another area where you haven’t yet developed that same level of confidence.
It might help to read this a few times first, just to get the ideas clear in your mind. This makes it easier to later run through it without consciously thinking too much about it. Remember, this is a ‘subconscious’ learning experience. Alternatively, some people like to record the words and play them back while listening and relaxing. Better still, record your own version using your own words; the sort of words you naturally use when talking to yourself.
If you found this technique helpful, I think you’ll also benefit from some of these confidence downloads, designed to improve different areas of your self confidence; areas such as dating, public speaking, or simply being more assertive.
If you prefer a good read, Paul McKenna takes you through a series of simple yet powerful techniques like this in his book, Instant Confidence. Paul reveals the secrets of mastering your emotions and living with a greater sense of ease and certainty than ever before; in business, in romance, or in any other area of your life.
In addition, the book contains a free self hypnosis CD, using the latest psychological techniques to fill your mind with positive thoughts and feelings. Each time you listen, you’ll be re-enforcing positive optimism, and programming your mind for success.
What do you want to do now
The essence of self confidence is having faith in your own abilities.
Feel the Fear
& Do It Anyway
Turn fear and indecision into confidence and action.
An insightful and engaging look at the destructive effects of fear in all aspects of your life, with guidance on how that fear may be overcome.
People often have a desire to change but find themselves held back by fear and self doubt? Unfortunately change often requires facing one’s fears, and that’s when they give up.
Based on the idea that indecisiveness stems from a fear of the unknown, Susan Jeffers advises you to ‘face the fear’ and not be swayed by outside influences. She provides both an understanding of the roots of your fears and actions you can take to better deal with them, be that a fear of public speaking, asserting yourself, making decisions, intimacy, changing jobs, being alone, ending a relationship... and many other common fears.