IT’S A WONDERFUL FEELING going into a situation thinking; “Whatever happens, I can handle it”. However...
“I need to feel more confident before I try that.”
“If only I could be sure of succeeding, I’d feel so much more confident.”
Are those more familiar thoughts?
It’s easy to believe that confident people somehow ‘know’ how to deal with new situations with such ease, but that isn’t true. How can they know before they even attempt something?
The truth is, they can be just as uncertain as you and I about doing something for the first time, and they can screw up just as well as the rest of us too! The big difference, however, is their attitude.
A confident person accepts that it’s a new experience and mistakes are inevitable, and that if one should happen, they can handle it. They know that providing they give it their best, whatever happens will be alright. That’s what having a confident attitude is all about, and with that positive outlook they put themselves in the very best mental state to master that new situation.
In short, confident people:
- Have positive yet ‘realistic’ expectations.
- Have faith in their own abilities.
- Are comfortable with uncertainty.
- Know they can handle failure if it happens.
- Believe they can cope; not necessarily succeed – there’s a difference!
- Don’t feel they have to conform in order to be accepted.
- Are willing to risk the disapproval of others because they trust their own judgement.
- Don’t need the approval of others, hence they can tolerate failure.
- Can see the funny side of things, even personal mistakes and misfortunes.
- Don’t take things too seriously or personally.
- Feel good about themselves.
- Make others feel good about themselves.
- Understand the four steps to becoming competent.
Sense of curiosity
A confident person treats each new experience with curiosity and a sense of fun. Curiosity is, after all, the natural human emotion to experience in the absence of all others, and human beings are born explorers.
Watch a young child playing and you’ll soon notice how they approach each new experience with wonder, simply because they haven’t learnt the concept of failure yet. It’s not a chance to fail but an opportunity to learn. It’s only later life that brings with it so many inhibitions and limiting self beliefs.
Wouldn’t it be great to be able to forget the notion of ‘success and failure’ and return to some of that childhood innocence; just enjoying the process of seeing how far you can get?
Don’t be arrogant
Truly confident people are largely unaware of the fact; they just ‘are’. But when a person starts to believe they’re better than their abilities – better than others – that’s when they run the risk of verging into ‘arrogance’ territory.
This ego driven false confidence leads to taking risks that are beyond their ability to handle, and sooner or later they suffer the sort of catastrophic failure that shatters their over inflated confidence.
So you know what confidence really is, and you know how confident people do what they do; now it’s time to learn how to actually make it happen.
What do you want to do now
- Take action and do something
To experience confidence, first you need to experience progress.
- How to become competent
Learn how to do new things... and succeed.
What about one of these to help you build your self confidence?
- Build your self confidence
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The essence of self confidence is having faith in your own abilities.
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